Verbatim;

Charlie reviewed the letter of rejection. It read as follows:

Saint Francis University
Fake letterhead division
Santa Monica Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
Phone:310.434.7300
Fax:310.434.7377

February 14th, 2009



Via U.S. Mail
Charles Jose Valet Jones
101 2nd street #101
Dallas, TX 75248



RE: SCRIPT IDEA

Encl: 1 letter

Dear Mr. Jones,

Thank you for submitting information on the above-referenced project to US. We are returning, unread, your submission and all enclosures included with it. Your mailing was examined only to the minimal extent needed to determine its nature. No notice was taken of its literary content.

While we sincerely appreciate your interest in sending material to us, it is our policy, based on legal and other considerations, not to read or consider unsolicited submissions of any font. Please do not send additional materials, or resend these materials, as they will similarly be returned to you unread.

Sincerely,


The Establishment

He was quite angry himself, but he did not put it in an envelope and address it to Santa. He only did THAT when he wanted to be a real NAZI bastard about it, and leave records for _Historical_ evidence! This appeared to be mere histrionics... he sacrificed a couple of map pins and tacked it up on the wall. As wallpaper, it was aesthetically inferior: that would make a GOOD criticism.

Argumentum ad captandum;

In University there was no "Principle's Office." When sent to Coventry, the President wrote you personally. He was truly moved with anger, but the thesaurus did not seem to support his premise adequately. Charlie's letter to the Dean of Admissions requesting special treatment, (political and unabashed,) had not been well received.

The school was an Athletic powerhouse, and Alumni loved to contribute to the cause. Since the school was officially Governmental, he had merely suggested improving profitability by applying for a Charitable Institution license. Then the Alumni could write the contributions off, on their taxes, as Charitable Contributions. Other than that, by his calculations, his own per semester outlay multiplied by the number of students in the school, divided by the number of Professors OUGHT to adequately feather everyone's nest (who was in on it,) in four or five semesters. They could probably even go into Academics if they invested in a laboratory, some salts and alkalies, and hired research Staff. The research should go well too; all you do is have the PhD students deliver lectures, as _well_ as grade the tests.

Charlie sighed. The letterhead was genuine!

Argumentum ad crumenam;

The commentary didn't beat about the bush much (he smiled momentarily at the double entendre.) The fifth chapter got right to his campaign platform. He re-read it with a different purpose in mind; Nope, it wouldn't exactly break the budget either - failed as a communicator though; his audience was the old "eye for an eye," crowd. This radical "seek the best interest of the country and only kill the BAD enemies" was radical stuff! It was a little like watching the movie Titanic, but in the horror genre. You knew what happened in the end, but instead of any lip-service to historical record, these heroes did ALL the wrongs things just when you hoped they wouldn't. It would take a _Very_ liberal campaign manager to attempt to learn anything from _this_ one! Hollywood could definitely improve on it - in the movies everybody was beautiful and happy, just like in the ads, and the good guys always win! He reflected on his Aunt's observation that "nice guys finish last." Coming from her, it had had quite a different connotation. Hmmm.... she probably had meant for him to get the message.

A Postiriori;

Charlie next proceeded to a convenience store, to stimulate the economy and pay for convenience. He had well understood the urgings of the Bush Administrations that if the people _stop_ spending money, the velocity of money in the system will slow down - he learned that in Economics; "The only way to increase velocity of transfer of funds in the system is AFT's." However, he _needed_ the Scientific Journal he was searching for, and the Library had beefed up security. He had gone back to "Steal this book!" for reference, but apparently some other free thinker was using it. The Journal was for purposes of deception.

He was genuinely worried about being called "disingenuous." The word had the connotation of insincere,and he sincerely wanted to do well. He contemplated the various synonyms of insincere; prevaricate was hide the truth by lying about it; obfuscate was hide the truth by saying something else; disinformation was hiding the truth by informing someone else... it was easier just to say "disingenuous is smart people pretending to be dumb." He would disabuse as many people as possible by undeceiving them.

He had an old copy of Playboy for when he wanted to study during Frat parties, and a February Sports Illustrated for all purpose occasions. He needed the Journal so he could study in class. He pondered for a moment what scientific periodical would pass muster in the most classes. A manual of style, for use in writing white papers was his best bet. He swore mentally. The convenience store was not so convenient after all - he'd have to go to a brick and mortar division of the publisher.

His initial observations of the Current section of his Gideon's convinced him that it was about a Hispanic character named "Jesus." Must have been interesting back then, what with the Romans and the Greeks all fighting about the "Venus" controversy. As nearly as Jones could verify, Jesus had been a Greek, telling the Jews what for. Hell of a political commentary! It was just like Xenophon said; To be taken seriously, Politicians HAVE to acknowledge God.

To get a bank loan, a business plan is helpful but not a guarantee ;

When Charlie next took up his efforts, the plan had coalesced in his brain to follow the pioneering lead of those who had made a profitable business venture of the Bible. THEN he'd use the Latin to make his term papers sound IMPORTANT for the Frat boys and Sorority chicks; they'd hire you for telling people what to do profitably after they inherited. The Bible was not _supposed_ to be a business plan, so he took a while in the Library for some online research. Jimmy Swaggert was an old profit, and he had been excoriated as not using the Bible correctly. If by "correctly," you meant Charity, _everyone_ could agree. It was like the infallibility of the Pope, though; not all for the same reasons:

The Catholics believed the Pope was infallible because he wasn't married. The Protestants believed the Pope was infallible because he didn't have a wife to tell him his mistakes. Charlie wasn't sure if this proved the Pope was unmarried, or merely that the Pope was Catholic, but of _this_ he was certain: Everyone agreed about it!

Everyone agreed the Bible was for Charity too, and this was Swaggert's failing as a bible. As a businessman he was instructive, and Charlie thumbed through to the relevant citation: Malachi 3:8.

He reflected on the use of the first person. This verse likely _belonged_ in the bible - God seemed to have said it himself! ...if the bible was from God - postage from there and delivery addresses back then without zip codes? God himself might have had his problems.

Statistics had been HARD. When was it ever not? Right after the tests, he thought rhetorically, but never mind that. Now he was free to follow his latest passion. Charlie's passions were not like those of his namesake on TV - Charlie on TV was a man and a half. California Jones was but a man; his passions on the other hand were legendary amongst those who knew him. In fact, once his passions had been so inflamed that there were those who only knew _OF_ him - they knew about his passions too! Charlie had but two methods of study:

1. Get interested in the topic under discussion.
2. Manage to have a _really_ HOT teacher. Van Halen knew this method, and wrote a Rock Anthem about it. Personally, Charlie wished it had been a ballad; it would have been longer, and it would have had a happy ending.

He turned to his fledgling business effort anew. The only other REALLY famous bible verse was John 3:16. He located it (it actually was easier than his text books, because the verses were numbered individually. Geology text books on the other hand... I'll say no more.) He read it all in one breath - it was short. It had the old universal theme of a love story, and you could SEE that this was why it was so popular. Academically, though, it was worthless. The grammar (for example,) was archaic (he knew this word from his efforts with the dictionary explaining detention.) The "so" in "so loved the world," belonged in the phrase "God loved the world SO much," unless this author purported to instruct a person the manner in which God implemented his love. Unlikely; the mind of God was not available in the Library for citations. He did not jade his attentions by gorging himself on content - a burger should be an excellent excuse to flirt with the cashier.

Juvenal was Juvenile!

He started with a famous one. He scanned the lines looking for Academic subjects. It seemed to be written by a medieval serf - he didn't LIKE his LORD, but he knew better than to complain - the last line said he didn't expect to _ever_ get away. On the whole, it was a pretty good speech though; hmmm... when DID speech writing start? The second two verses blamed one of the other servants, so these were no good for citations. He would keep this one in mind and keep searching.